Creating the "51 Days of Terror" Podcast

Interviewing Tampa Mayor Bob Buckhorn one year after the arrest in the Seminole Heights serial killings.

The entire series is out now! You can listen on iTunes, Google Podcasts and Spotify. 

Sunday, we officially finished our final episode of 51 Days of Terror. I felt like this was the first moment in four months my head was above water. I'd spent countless hours researching, writing, interviewing, approving scripts and going through episodes. Somewhere in between I planned and went on my 30th birthday trip, but the podcast was hanging over my head the entire time. When it was over, I finally felt this weight lifted off of me.

Then, I realized, the families of the victims will never have that feeling. They'll always feel a weight on them. Every family dinner, every vacation, every time someone walks through the door who isn't the person they lost—those moments will just remind them of the weight on them.

I'm not saying I've moved on from the podcast. You can't sit in someone's living room and talk about the night they lost their child and really ever move on. I feel connected to these victims, their families and this story in a way I've never experienced with any other project I've done.

For those of you who don't know, 51 Days of Terror follows the investigation into four murders that happened in the Seminole Heights neighborhood of Tampa in 2017. Fifty-one days after the first killing, police made an arrest in the case.

Going over one of the episodes with our team.

Every time there's a series of murders followed by an arrest, I always see viewers asking to learn more about the victims and less about the suspect. We can tell the victims' stories on television, but it's impossible to put together something truly meaningful when you only have a little more than a minute to get it done. I wanted to show it could be done if we used a different form of storytelling.

Thankfully, I found someone who felt the same. When I went to Amanda Ciavarri with my plan to do a podcast on the Seminole Heights serial killings and to have the main focus on the victims, she was immediately onboard. The same goes for our digital producer, Heather Monahan. We worked for months before we even brought the pitch to our boss because we wanted to be sure this was something we could tackle the right way. Serendipitously, our editor, Dallas Cotton, started just as we were entering the editing stage and he was the perfect person to execute our vision.

I know a lot of journalists wax poetic about their "noble" intentions and I don't want to come off like them. Like I did someone a favor by telling the story of their loved one. They did me the favor. They're the ones who allowed me to ask them questions about the worst moment of their lives and were so giving with their experiences.

I not only wanted to tell the stories of the victims but of their families. I wanted to show people it doesn't end after the arrest. Murder has a ripple effect and it changes the lives of everyone involved, from the families to the neighborhood to the first responders. Everyone is changed in some way, shape or form and a lot of them can never go back to how life was before.

Going through research before writing
an episode. 

During this journey, there were several times when I took a moment to thank God for putting me in a position to tell these stories. I knew this was what he wanted me to be doing at this moment. Benjamin Mitchell, Monica Hoffa, Anthony Naiboa and Ronald Felton are all in his hands now, but he called on me to play a small part in telling their stories and making sure they aren't forgotten.

Today, the final episode of the podcast was released. You can listen to the entire series on iTunes, Google Podcasts and Spotify. You'll learn a lot about the case and a lot about the way the victims were killed, but I hope what you take away from it is how they lived.

New Job, New Start, Same Old State

Surprisingly, it's been almost two years since I moved to Winston-Salem. I've learned so much as a producer and even made some lifelong friends after the first year. Most importantly, I got to spend a lot of time with my grandfather. There were some tough and lonely moments, but I wouldn't change a thing. 

Now, I'm getting ready to move to Tampa, Florida. I'm heading back to the Sunshine State (and the warm weather) as a producer for the NBC station there, WFLA. I start in January. 

My journey to this point is a true testament to the fact that God really does always have a better plan for you than you do for yourself. My goal was always to work on my producing skills and be strong enough to land a job at a station I'd been eyeing in Orlando. Over the summer I was able to get an interview with them and, long story short, they liked me, but they were looking for someone with more experience working the night shift.

I was bummed, to say the least. 

But I kept my faith and within a month emails started pouring in from stations across the country. A lot of managers saw my work on YouTube and wanted to know if I'd consider coming to work for them as a producer or executive producer. I even spoke with a station in New York City, but the timing didn't line up. 

I was weighing my potential options when I received an email from a station in Tampa. They flew me down and I knew pretty quickly that this was the right move for me. Everything I'd been hoping to find in my next job seems to be exactly what they're offering. 

I'm mentioning all of this to remind anyone who may have lost out an opportunity that God really does have a better plan for you. I used to be devastated when something I want didn't happen, but now I just get a little bummed. It may not be what I had in mind, but I always know something better is coming. 

So, don't give up when your Orlando says "no" because Tampa is about to knock on your door. You just need to have faith. 

P.S. Thank you to some of my amazing coworkers and family for dealing with my work search craziness (and now my moving craziness). It would be hard to make it through my mini freakouts without you all! 

New Year, Big Changes

Last year was busy and rough, but I'm hoping for good things in 2017. (artwork by Nneka Myers)

I moved away from home last year and it brought on a host of new challenges. I had to make new relationships, figure out my way around a new job and learn the politics of a new state. I just celebrated my first anniversary and, although it was a pretty rough road sometimes, I'm looking forward to another year.

I realized something important in 2016: I don't have time for Feather Magazine anymore. I shut the publican down for a little while a few years ago, but I always knew that I'd bring it back (and I did). This time, we're gone for good. My computer's been evil, but it's back in action now, so we'll start posting our last stories in a few days and then it's all over in March. The site will stay up at least until the end of the year, though.

I've met so many wonderful writers through Feather and grown so much as a person from reading their experiences. I'm proud of the work we did, but more about the positive work environment we created. I wanted something uplifting for the readers and for our writers. I'm elated that we were able to achieve those goals. 

So, I won't be doing Feather this year. But that doesn't mean, I'm just working my producing job. I've got some stuff in the works, but I learned a long time ago not to discuss anything until you're sure it's going to work out. 

This year I will...

Focus on myself more. I worked a lot last year, which I don't regret. I wanted more experience and, of course, the overtime pay. But I sacrificed self-care to do it. This year, I'm going to find the balance.

Get healthier. Isn't this everyone's resolution? With my work schedule, I can often be half asleep by the time I get off, but I'm planning to join a YMCA (there aren't many traditional gyms here, surprisingly) and go right after work. My job actually gifted us with some bags for Christmas that are perfect for the gym.

Learn to cook. I think I've made this resolution about four times. I bought a Crock Pot last year, though, which makes cooking a lot easier. I've made a couple of tasty things, so if I only made strides cooking with that, I'll feel like I accomplished this one.

Travel to visit loved ones. I haven't been to see my family in New York in about five years. I also haven't gone to Texas to visit my best friend or made a trip to Tampa just to see another of my BFFs. Those are all on my list this year, along with my requisite trips home. I'm also going to stop traveling to see people who never return the favor. Ya'll know where I live!

Fight for what's fair. Unlike Fox News, I don't take the phrase "fair and balanced" with a grain of salt in my work. There were a couple of times in 2016 that I had to stand up for what I thought was right when it came to covering stories and I'm sure that I'll have to do the same this year. 

Remember the Fourth Estate. Unfortunately, a lot of journalists forget that we have a Constitutional duty toward the American people. The parts of the First Amendment that handle freedom of the press, free speech, etc. were created to hold lawmakers accountable for their actions. I know a lot of people want to pander to the lowest common denominator, but I'm going to remember that my job is to tell the truth. Sometimes, that will make people angry, but facts are facts and it's worse if I try to pretty them up or ignore them altogether. 

New Job, New State, New Life

I'll be saying good-bye to this studio in about a month.

About three years ago, I changed my career path from wanting to work as a print reporter to being a TV news producer. I wasn't sure if I'd be any good at it, but I ended up doing well and really loving the job. When you're running a live show, anything could happen and I love being challenged every day.

About two months ago, my boss sat me down and asked me what I wanted to do with my future. I'd thought about it, but hadn't really made any serious moves, but her asking me made me think: well, what do I want to do with my life?

The answer: leave Florida. That's been my objective since I was about 9 years old, but it never happened for me. I am fond of it here because it's where I grew up, but I've never felt like I could be truly happy in the Sunshine State.

Now, it's official: I'm moving to Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

After I had that conversation with my boss, I started applying for jobs that weekend. About a week later, I got a response from the top station in the Winston-Salem market. After some phone interviews and a whirlwind trip to see the station, which I absolutely loved, they offered me a job as their 5 a.m. producer.

Mornings have always been where my heart is, so I'm glad to be getting back to them. Also, I couldn't be happier to work for a station where I'll be challenged even more every day and reach a new level of my potential as a producer.

Although I have family in the area, this will create some new personal challenges. I'll be in a new town where I don't have any friends or little sisters to hang out with. I've also been living back at home again for the past three years, so being on my own again will be an adjustment.

I'm definitely excited about the whole experience and I feel so blessed to have landed this opportunity. God always comes through when the time is right and I know that this move will help me grow.

Thanks to everyone who answered my request for prayers that this job would be in God's plan, especially my family. Now, it's time to focus on moving my life about nine hours away and living in a city where it snows.

Monday Mood Board: Can You Not? Thanks.

My face when someone spouts their ignorant philosophy.

One of my New Year's resolutions this year was to stop avoiding conflict. I spent many years letting people say dumb or insulting things to me and just tried to ignore it because I don't particularly like confrontation. Well, eight months into 2015 and it's a new era. I feel way more confident calling people out, especially when they're ignorant.

I'm really happy to live in an era where people are having more frank discussions about race, ethnicity, politics, women's rights, LGBT rights, etc. Unfortunately, I'm confronted with people all the time who don't understand anything.

Let's be clear: in the age of the Internet, if you're ignorant, that's all on you and you looked even dumber than you would've 30 years ago because everything's at your fingertips. The library is no longer the only place to find information because now it's everywhere. Almost a year ago, I decided to really start learning more about social issues and I did it mostly by using Internet resources.

My mood board today is about things that annoy me, but are so easy to change, like cultural appropriation, people always wanting to give me a nickname instead of saying my full name and double standards.

http://complexmagazine.tumblr.com/post/126883030881/weloveblackgirls-basically

http://hira-3th.tumblr.com/post/124898669652

http://profeminist.tumblr.com/post/123424574802/britteney-conner-from-consent-watch-the-full

http://stagecoachjessi.tumblr.com/post/120084329176

http://profeminist.tumblr.com/post/118470340587/should-we-ban-bossy

Monday Mood Board: Feministocracy

Let's ignore the fact that I haven't blogged in a couple of months and just be happy to read words I've written, OK? OK.

So, for the past couple of months, I've been working with Feather Magazine's Life Director on a new feature, Feministocracy. What I constantly notice is how uneducated people are on feminist issues, which perpetuates a culture of sexism and violence against women. You can't move forward without educating people.

Femintocracy will be our contribution toward making the world a better place for women through education, using tactics like I implemented in my story on slut-shaming. We've got a lot of topics to cover and I'm really looking forward to starting more conversations on feminism.

So, today's mood board is about things that make me feel empowered.

http://alymarie.tumblr.com/post/117525022669/do-not-try-to-be-pretty-you-werent-meant-to-be

http://rubyreed.tumblr.com/post/118610122676/casual-reminder

http://archiecomics.tumblr.com/post/79189042964/banbossy

http://gohelloflo.tumblr.com/post/79584146948/since-were-all-talking-about-the-power-of

http://marveldorks.tumblr.com/post/101325494041/what-some-of-my-favourite-feminists-look-like

Monday Mood Board: You Can't Break Us

http://trentinicity.tumblr.com/post/113753826609

Oh, hello. I'm back after a brief break. My laptop ended up being faulty, so I had to send it back to HP. They had it for weeks before decided to send me an awesome new touchscreen one. Thanks, HP!

So, I've been saying that I'll meditate, but I haven't yet. I'm going to work on it, though, because I've had a lot of people tell me it's great for anxiety and stress. At the suggestion of Feather's Health Director, I downloaded an app called Headspace. Now, I just need to use it.

On to my weekly obsessions! I'm mostly in love with Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and Cinderella right now. The former, I binged on Netflix in two days; the latter, I took my sisters to see over the weekend, after which I left as the world's biggest Lily James fan.

http://mtv.tumblr.com/post/75903484455/boss-lady-lc-our-official-hero

http://a-pink-dream.tumblr.com/post/113751488012

http://theladyelsa.tumblr.com/post/113735656759

http://celebritiesofcolor.tumblr.com/post/112739373141/zoe-kravitz-on-the-tonight-show-starring-jimmy

http://newhattan.tumblr.com/post/112445796750/fashion-here-posted-by-me-so-please-dont-delete

Monday Mood Board: Feeling Feminist

Sorry, guys. I took a little blog break. I'm actually not sure who I'm talking to because, does anyone actually read this blog?

To the people (or person) reading this, I've been getting acclimated to my new job. I started on Jan. 12 with a week of training and last week I was on my own. This week, as a seasoned pro (do not even try to refute that) I'm back to blogging.

I'm always liking stuff on Tumblr, so I'm going to turn those things into my mood board for the week. Not all of them, just some of them. We'll see if any of it makes sense. By what I've been attracted to lately, you can tell how into the feminist movement I am right now.

http://curmudgeonlaine.tumblr.com/post/109140445240

http://youngabudhabi.tumblr.com/post/109059965509/ameena

http://p-ea-ce.tumblr.com/post/109031989519

http://breweroffduty.tumblr.com/post/109032037625

http://gaypocalypse.tumblr.com/post/46530324489/diane-sawyer-so-have-you-thought-how-many-women

http://marilynsmusings.tumblr.com/post/108715558847/srocq-exgynocraticgrrl-kerry-washington

http://educazionesentimentale.tumblr.com/post/84428620327

House Envy: Creating Character in a Small Space

The past year, I've been flip flopping back and forth about whether I still want to live in New York City someday. I do still want to work there, but I'm wary of what I could do with my budget, since the rent is so high. It's made me lean more and more toward living in New Jersey and just commuting to the city for whatever job I may get there.

Home tours like this make me change my tune because this small space, which is similar to what I'd probably have to live in, still has character and doesn't feel cluttered. The only thing I'd change would be to add a photo over the bed. Otherwise, I want to create this in my next apartment, no matter where I live.

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T.I.L.T.: All Hail Donna Meagle

'cause baby I could build a castleout of...

It's Things I Love Tuesday!

I've been on Tumblr a lot lately doing posts for Feather Magazine's account, so I've been seeing a lot of fun posts. Some of my favorites are of Donna Meagle, a character on Parks and Recreation. A lot of the site is pretty much run by fandoms, so there's always something new to explore about a show, celebrity or even restaurant you love.

These are some of the things I'm loving right now.

I'd like to have this level of "get your life, sir" with men.

Cartoonish self-portrait :) http://irtsy... Me. Literally, all the time.

Taylor Swift understands the struggles of the kitchen.

✨💖🌸🐬👽💎🌺🚬🍺🍁 Life Goals.

Taco Bell wins at social media.    

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For Real Friday: 2015 Resolutions

Usually, I have my resolutions planned, but this year I didn't really feel the urge. Maybe it's similar to how Christmas begins to lose its allure as you get older. I have a couple of personal things I want to accomplish this year, but they don't have the same feeling of urgency as resolutions usually do.

This year I will: 

Stick up for myself more. I have a tendency to just let people get an attitude with me and refrain from ever addressing the disrespect. I sort of become this different (read: evil) person when I get angry, so I try not to go there because there's no telling what I may say. But this year I want to work more on finding the balance between standing up for myself and being an angry monster.

Learn to cook. I'm really terrible at cooking, so I rarely do it, but I've had this dream of being an expert baker since college. This is weird because I hate dessert and that accounts for most baked goods, but you can't pick your dreams. I was talking to one of my fellow journalists, Marissa, about her food blog and it made me want to try cooking again. I'll start small and see how it goes. 

Create more DIY Projects. I'm really big on wanting everything I have to be a reflection of my personality. Honestly, I also like having things no one else had. (I have stopped wearing items of clothing I saw someone else in before.) After I posted this last night, I stumbled across A Beautiful Mess, a craft blog, and it sparked something in me. If you want something, sometimes you just have to make it yourself. This year, I'm going to create more things. In a couple of year, maybe everything you see in my house will have been created by me. 

I feel a little strange about those being the only things I want to accomplish in my personal life this year, but I'll take it as a sign that I'm so close to being the person I want to be that I don't have much to work on anymore.

Fingers crossed that it all works out! What are your resolutions?

Hello, 2015. Things Will Be Different This Year

1. I'M BLOGGING AGAIN. This time, I'm for real about it and already making plans to grow my readership. It'll be nice to share tidbits from my life again. It's a new regime, people!

2. I GOT A NEW JOB. I've had a lot of fun and made a lot of friends as the producer for a morning show, but now I'm moving to the night shift. Thanks to all the family members and friends who helped me make the tough decision to leave my current position. I will miss my morning people, but I'm ready for a new challenge. Also, I'm ready to sleep like a human being again.

3. FEATHER MAGAZINE IS CHANGING. We've said good-bye to the Fashion and Beauty sections, in favor of focusing more on lifestyle elements. We want to do things: have more fun and tell more personal stories. Editorially, the changes will not roll out until February, but you can already see the changes by how things look. You can read the whole spiel on Ruffled Feathers today and see it all on the website.

4. THINGS WILL GET MORE PERSONAL. Honestly, I spend most of my time working, but I do want to try and give some glimpses into my life. While I may have a boring activities calendar, I'm never short on thoughts, so I will be sharing what I think about certain topics (mostly feminism, I'm sure) on here.

5. I'LL BE MORE WEB SOCIAL. That means you can expect to hear more from me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, so follow those accounts. You can also expect me to be reading more blogs, which is something I've sorely missed in the past few years.

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Things I Love Tuesday: Little Things

This week, I'm tired. Like, bone tired. I've also been pretty sick off and on the past month, so I'm praying it doesn't catch up to me. Basically, I'm in a mood to complain. I'll just stop now. Thanks for listening.

This is all about the little things today. Mostly, things I miss, want and need to get around to fixing.

This braid is now my life's dream. I will conquer it.

This is what I imagine my work area will look like one day. We will not talk about what it actually looks like.

This is my life.

I miss Chuck & Blair. I also miss my youth, which is back when they were on TV. Times flies, guys.

I want one of these once a day right after work. I deserve it.

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Makeup Monday: It's a Hair Day

So, I cut my hair almost two years ago (or maybe almost three?) and some days I want to grow it all back out, while others I want to chop it all off again. The problem I face no matter how long it is, would be trying to find a good hold spray because the thickness makes it heavy and nothing ever sticks for long. So, if you know of a good spray, let a girl know!

Today, I'm in a chop-it-all-off mood because I just saw this great hair tutorial from one of my favorite blogs, Wonder Forest. Right now, my hair's about medium length, so this still wouldn't be hard to do.

Go forth and braid, people!

Things I Love Tuesday

First, I'm buying this "hello" throw pillow and if anyone touches it they die.

Second, I just realized that I haven't posted on a Tuesday in forever. So, I'm not sure exactly what I used to do, but I'm going to start doing Things I Love Tuesday. I know it's usually done on Thursdays, but I am not following the norm. Just call me a rule breaker, people. (How dangerous am I right now?)

This week, I'm attracted to gold. (Who am I kidding? Every week of my life since birth I've been attracted to gold.) Somehow, everything bridal is also getting my attention, even though I don't want to be married until I'm 30.

Check out everything I'm totally in love with this week and if you buy something do not tell me because I will be insanely jealous. I'm on a spending freeze because I may be moving soon and I don't want to be homeless. Where will I put the "hello" pillow if I don't have a home? It deserves a nice life.

Guys. How freakin' cute is this hedgehog kitchen timer? I have this dream of learning how to bake, but then I remember that I'm rarely in the mood for dessert. I may need to change my life choices now. Buy it here.

I'm trying to convince my best friend to let the bridesmaids wear floral headbands during her wedding. Or just me. I'm OK with it just being for me. #MaidOfHonorPerks? Buy it here.

Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE gold! This photo from a display at a wedding workshop is making me reconsider my firm stance on having a courthouse wedding one day. But I think I'll just use this as inspiration for home decor.

This is another thing to make me reconsider my dream courthouse wedding. When I was watching the "On the Run Tour" concert on HBO on Saturday, I told my mom that if she can find me a floral headband with a dramatic veil like this, I'd consent to an actual wedding. Also, that concert was beautiful. Love is real, people!

It's the first day of fall and I'm totally making these this year. Maybe there's a Feather tutorial in the future with different ways to decorate pumpkins? Ugh, now I'll be Pinning chic pumpkin DIYs all morning.

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Makeup Monday: The Egg-Shaped Sponge

Why, hello, there! It's been ages since I blogged, I know. But I've been busy with so many things, including the relaunch of the new www.feather-mag.com!

I'm back, though, and it's a great day to talk about makeup. (I still sell, Mary Kay, by the way!) We gave away a beautyblender on Feather a couple of years ago and I was instantly intrigued by the idea of an egg-shaped sponge for my foundation. Back then, I wore cream foundation, so it wasn't a good fit for me. 

Now that I wear liquid, I've forayed into the egg-shaped world and I cannot leave it behind. The egg offers an easier way to get full coverage because you can use the narrow ends to get into often ignored spaces, like the spot between your nose and corner of your eye. 

I've used it dry, but I prefer to do it when the sponge is damp. (The graphic below will show you the best way to do it.) You won't have to use as much of your product, which creates a more natural look and saves you money in the long run.

You can purchase the best version, a beautyblender (Sephora, $19.95), or you can go cheap by purchasing one at a beauty store. I got my first one at Ulta to make sure I liked using the egg-shaped sponge and later upgraded to a beautyblender.

What applicators do you use?

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Makeup Monday: Applying Concealer

Here's a beauty tip for your Monday! For more tricks and tips, "like" my Facebook page.  

Post by Brianti Downing, Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant.

Monday Mood Board: I Want To Go To There

First, the headline is not a typo. It's a quote from 30 Rock. I wish I knew more people who'd watched that show. It was so underrated.

I'm heading to NOLA next week with my some of my best friends to visit one of my best friends, so I've had travel on the brain. This will be my fourth visit to New Orleans and I love it, but I wish I got the chance to go to more places. Well, places I've always wanted to visit. I'd like to go out west to enjoy mountains and canyons or to see an actual European castle. Although I may want to avoid Europe altogether, since I had trouble justifying my return to the U.S. when I was in Paris.

What writer doesn't want to live in a country of readers?

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House Envy: A Refined Space

I think Refinery29 is much better than it used to be. It's always been great for fashion, but the brand's been branching out more and it's paid off. Fashion girls love more than just fashion, after all.

Those changes are due, in part, to editor-in-chief Christene Barberich. Under her leadership, it's become the fastest-growing media company in the United States.

When someone like this arises, I immediately want to a peek into their life. What kind of office do they work in? What's their home life really like? I got an answer to at least one of those questions thanks to The Coveteur.

She basically lives in my dream apartment, right down to the Mary Janes on the stove. (Who uses the stove, anyway?

You guys enjoy this while I slink back to my closet-sized room at my parent's house.

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image source

Editorial: Twenty-Something 'GIRLS'

I wasn't very fond of GIRLS when it first came out a couple of years ago, but I picked it back up last weekend and it wasn't bad. I'm not a huge fan or anything, but I can respect the concept and the characters' experiences.

As a twenty-something, I sometimes feel like my time isn't valued or taken seriously because I don't have kids or a mortgage. I've been thinking about writing something on that lately. After some recent events in my personal life, I think I will.

In the meantime, check out Lena's Dunham's first spread for VOGUE. She's the February cover girl.

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