Thursday, May 31, 2012

Editorial: Shailene Woodley for ASOS


I know pretty much nothing about Shailene Woodley. All I know is that she's the star of The Secret Life of the American Teenager, which is the only teen drama I don't watch because the name is misleading. I was an American teenager. I was not pregnant or trying to marry guys at like 16 years old. If someone proposed to me in high school, I would've punched him the face. (Chill out. I'd apologize afterward. Reflexes and all that, you know?) Two proposals and I'd start guessing I'm putting out all the wrong signals because real teenagers do not get married in their teens, even if they have babies. When they do, they get divorced at 21 and wonder how they wasted so much of their youth in a marriage of convenience.

I know two girls my age who are divorced, but they don't get a cool nickname, like cougar or jaguar. It's more like people shake their heads when they pass by and thank God they didn't make such a bad life choice. Can you tell I'm anti-marriage before 30? I've been looking all around for matrimony vaccinations. Tweet me if you find one.

Regardless of the misleading name (Would it be too much if I filed some sort of false advertisement claim?), I love Shailene's looks in this photo shoot for ASOS Magazine. I often wonder if people even know ASOS has a magazine? And that's it's supercalifragilisticexpialidociously good. (If you don't get that "Mary Poppins" reference, you had no childhood. If you did, you'd know Julie Andrews WAS childhood.) I can't really find a unifying theme for her styling. It actually reminds of me Dazed & Confused meets Adventureland. It's just so 1970s and 1980s summer, you know?


 

 

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