Editorial: Shailene Woodley for ASOS

I know pretty much nothing about Shailene Woodley. All I know is that she's the star of The Secret Life of the American Teenager, which is the only teen drama I don't watch because the name is misleading. I was an American teenager. I was not pregnant or trying to marry guys at like 16 years old. If someone proposed to me in high school, I would've punched him the face. (Chill out. I'd apologize afterward. Reflexes and all that, you know?) Two proposals and I'd start guessing I'm putting out all the wrong signals because real teenagers do not get married in their teens, even if they have babies. When they do, they get divorced at 21 and wonder how they wasted so much of their youth in a marriage of convenience.

I know two girls my age who are divorced, but they don't get a cool nickname, like cougar or jaguar. It's more like people shake their heads when they pass by and thank God they didn't make such a bad life choice. Can you tell I'm anti-marriage before 30? I've been looking all around for matrimony vaccinations. Tweet me if you find one.

Regardless of the misleading name (Would it be too much if I filed some sort of false advertisement claim?), I love Shailene's looks in this photo shoot for ASOS Magazine. I often wonder if people even know ASOS has a magazine? And that's it's supercalifragilisticexpialidociously good. (If you don't get that "Mary Poppins" reference, you had no childhood. If you did, you'd know Julie Andrews WAS childhood.) I can't really find a unifying theme for her styling. It actually reminds of me Dazed & Confused meets Adventureland. It's just so 1970s and 1980s summer, you know?

 

 

 

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Beyoncé: Don't Call It A Comeback

OK, so I have a ton of nicknames for Beyoncé (Including: Bey, King B, Queen B and Beysus), but I will heretofore mostly refer to her as Slayoncé after seeing footage and photos from her Atlantic City concert last weekend. She just had a baby, you guys. She was carrying a small person in her belly for nine months, then dropped 60 pounds in four months, all while raising said small person and planning/rehearsing a huge comeback concert. And you know she put some time in to keep her marriage strong. If that's not the definition of slaying, I don't know what is.

Also, I've tried to ignore all the skepticism the FLOTUS is getting for saying she'd like to be like Slayoncé, but it's getting out of control. Don't worry about answers to questions if you don't like the answer. Everyone's entitled to feel how they want to about other people. Obviously, Mrs. Obama loves Bey. And they do know each other on a personal level after working together on the "Let's Move" campaign. Plus, King B is a great role model. She knew accomplished all her dreams and she gives more than 100% in everything. Plus, she hasn't had a bunch of scandals and there are no naked photos of her all over the Internet.

 

 

 

 

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Last Week in Photos

I went home for Mother's Day to spend time time with my family. I had a lot of fun going to the beach with my sisters and enjoying some coastal food right at a restaurant right on the side. The next time I move, I don't think I can be landlocked. It's too hard for someone to grow up with the wind in their hair and give that up for densely wooded areas with horribly stagnant heat.

Or maybe I'll just shock the world and move to Arizona. Who knows?

(My photos are from my Instagram: brianti. Original choice, I know.)

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Editorial: Demi Lovato for Seventeen Magazine

Did you know it's practically impossible to find Seventeen editorials online? It's true. You have to scan them in the lobby of your apartment complex and get it wrong about 25 times before you actually get them to look sort of OK. Then, you'll forget how you got them to turn out straight the next time you need to scan something and just go through the same hassle all over again. If this was from any other magazine, I would've abandoned the project after two failed tries. The things I do for you, Seventeen. The things I do.

Over the past year I've just fallen in love with Demi Lovato and I love her bohemian look in this editorial. She's my first actual girl crush. (You're probably thinking: "What about Beyoncé?" Well, Bey's my idol and pop goddess. I go to her temple for strength and to get just the right attitude to tell the world to love me or leave me. Or when I want to hear a great power ballad.) It's hard to find good role models in Hollywood, but she's one of them. Demi's really taken all her struggles with a tremendous amount of grace and she's got some serious pipes. Plus, I'd kill for her body. Seriously, I'd get a gun and take someone down for curves like that.

You should thank God that I signed the Body Peace Treaty and reached body peace a long time ago. Otherwise, your lives might be in danger.

 

"How to Love" (Cover) by Demi Lovato

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source: my insanely large stash of Seventeens dating back to 2003

Trend Alert: Exposed Back Dresses

No, I am not at a point in my fitness journey where I'd wear my back out, but when I am expect to see a lot of it in the spring and summer. I love fashion statements that straddle the line between classy and slutty, but never cross it. It's daring and, when the garment is designed well, beautiful.

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Color Story: Beauty in the Oddities

I could make up a billion reasons why I like this image, but I just do. The blue hair, the odd dress, the heels, the strange tin structure. The shadows in the photo are perfect. Something about it obviously appears to my weird side. But I won't be dying my hair blue anytime soon.

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That Time Seventeen Followed Me on Twitter

So, this happened.

A couple of months ago, when my life was in this horrible downward spiral and I was listening to "How Did This Happen to Me" by Simple Plan on repeat with the curtains drawn (So, maybe I was being a little dramatic. Sue me.), Seventeen followed me on Twitter. Me! The magazine I've wanted to work for since I was 15 years old followed me, which means someone in the office knows I exist. Even if they've forgotten about me by now, they acknowledged my existence. Obviously, I freaked out immediately and could not contain my excitement.

How did that happen? I have no idea. But I'm not questioning it. I'm just rolling with it and literally checking every day to make sure I haven't been unfollowed. I'd have to start listening to really depressing rock songs again and no one wants that.

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So Fetch: Front Racerback Dress

So, I found the perfect dress. Let me just be blunt for a minute and say I loathe her shoes, and that bag. It looks like a doctor's medical bag or a bowling ball bag. She did the dress no justice and, therefore, I wept as soon as I saw this.

I love everything about the dress, though. The pattern. The colors. The silhouette. This should be hanging in my closet! It should be on me every day. I should sleep in this dress and give it a name. I should petition the court to adopt it as my child and take full responsibility of its well-being. I should stop all this ridiculousness before one of you realizes how odd I am and never reads this blog again.

Not like anyone reads it, anyway. That's not me fishing for attention. It's a fact. I've accepted it, but for the five of you who do visit, I'll keep updating. How else would I subtly rub my mediocre graphic design skills in your face?

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On the Real: Can Happy Days Please Get Here Already?

So, I've been totally MIA lately, but life has been crazy. I'm working like it's my job, guys. And everyone's quitting their jobs at Feather, so staffing is a nightmare. Whenever I hire one person, two quit. It's the law of the world. I call it Brianti's Law of Staffing Stress. It'll be published in the next issue of Fake Science Quarterly. Pick up a copy at your imaginary newsstand.

On the real, no one's quitting because they hate me and I love my staff, so I'm not bitter. Just overwhelmed with resignation emails. Like, seriously, I've been getting them every week. The selfish side of me wants everyone to stay forever, but my selfless side (I just wish you'd beat it, selfless side! You're not welcome here!), which is super huge, totally understands and wants everyone to be happy. Can you tell my hippie nature comes from the selfless side?

Between the magazine, relaunching Ruffled Feathers, getting interns ready to start their first editing cycle, doing social media for MyEveryzine and going to my actual job, I don't have time to do anything but work from home while I watch Bones. (Side note: I'm in love with Bones!)

Unfortunately, something's got to go. And I'm pretty sure I know what it is, but I'm in complete denial about it because I hate quitting. That's what quitters do and I am not a quitter. Until I quit one of these things. Then, you can call me Quitter Jones, or something else cute-yet-humiliating.

P.S. Dear Jeni & Rebecca: You're lovely. You're awesome. You've saved my life on several occasions and you worked really hard to keep my dream alive. I'll miss you on staff, but I hope you didn't think you could get rid of me so easily. Not a chance. xxxxx

"Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy" from Glee


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Color Story: Old Books

There's a huge book sale twice a year in the city where I live and it's full of used books. Pretty much everyone in the city comes and scours the shelves looking for titles from authors they love. A couple of weeks ago, I went to the first one of the year and bought about 20 books. I only paid $12, so I came out way better than I would've at a book store.

I know it's totally the big thing to buy used clothes nowadays, but used books need love, too. My copies of Dick Francis' mystery novels and YA fantasy series will get plenty of love from me.

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That Time I Became Social Media Coordinator for MyEveryzine

Hello, MyEveryzine!

I have this obsession with teen culture. It stems from the fact that I never really grew up (When you have four sisters, you have to watch a lot of Disney and Nickelodeon past the time most kids do.) and that my dream is to work for Seventeen, so I'm starting my career online. That's where I'd actually like most of my career to take place. (Did you hear that, Seventeen.com?)

Anyway, you can follow my crazy social media antics on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. The website is currently on sort of a mini-hiatus while staffing is figured out, etc., so you'll mostly be getting cute photos and see me geek out on One Direction.

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